The Stories behind the Songs

"Treasuring You…and healing from loss"

1-The Secret Door

Within a few days of each other, two high school students faced tragedy which affected the entire school and community.  One lovely girl lost her mother, and since her mother was a teacher and the death was a suicide, the loss was felt deeply.  The second student was a wonderful young man whose parent died unexpectedly.  Both these students were members of Pendleton High School choirs with a concert pending.  The day before the concert this song was written.  It was first performed for choir members, in the choir room prior to the concert.  The director said the song seemed to quietly focus the students and helped them help each other.  A little while later, a prominent leader and chaplain passed away in a wilderness hiking accident.   The song was sung to the widow at her home a few days after the funeral, to strengthen her as she faced raising her little ones alone. 

2-Somehow

A close friend lost her mother, Beatrice, and related her feelings regarding the loss.  Though strong in her faith, she found she still had to search her feelings in her effort to find peace.  Touching her mother's belongings brought back memories.  She experienced new fears, new feelings and a new view of the world.  As she struggled, there came a time when she quieted her head and listened more carefully to her heart.  As she did, a profound peace began to envelope her.  She felt that her mother was very near and that things would be all right…"somehow." 

3-I Will Live

This song is dedicated to a bright young man who lost a best friend under extremely difficult circumstances.  This song was written to let him know that "always won't be like today" and that he would find joy again. At his friend's funeral the comment was made that the only way to take grief out of death was to take love out of life.  So these words were included in his song.

It is common for the bereaved to wonder if they could have done things differently, or why they lived when another died, or if they will ever feel joy again.   What isn't always noticed, is that in this very struggle the heart is gaining compassion through first-hand experience. With greater understanding comes the potential for greater joy. One also learns greater patience, since "there is just no easy way to do hard things."

4-The Shield

Whether a young parent holding a toddler after an accident, an elderly person holding a spouse after an extended illness, or a serviceman holding a buddy on a battlefield, it is common to wonder if something could have, or should have, been done differently to have prevented the loss.

These feelings are even stronger if the living are unusually loving or have made unusually great sacrifices for the one who has passed on. In the end, peace comes from accepting that what could be done was done, and after that no amount of "replaying the scene" can change reality.  With the loved one at peace, we must also accept peace.  Such is the on-going love and nobility of Garrett's family.

5-Reminiscing

I am reminded of Gary by a calligraphy wall hanging he made when suffering with a terminal illness. It reads, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6.  I never met Gary; he passed away before his parents became one of my kids "adopted grandparents."  Yet I sense his strength when I look at the brush strokes of his pen. I have heard of how he helped others, even as his own life slipped away in the hospital.  Who can measure the influence of a life; it continues long after the individual is gone.

6-Remember Me

Counseling professionals say that an important part of healing is to speak and write about the lost loved one. It is through us that their memory is preserved for future generations. This song reminds us to remember. Many of the lines in the song came from childhood memories, particularly of one of my Grandpas who was a craftsman at telling jokes. At the gathering after his funeral, an aunt quipped that he was probably watching and saying that he got one on us all.  Through misty eyes everyone laughed. It felt good to talk about him and to put aside the sorrow long enough to remember the fun.

7-Watering Flowers

This song is about a gentleman who chooses to live graciously.  We visited him and his delightful wife, LaNaire, each month for years.  Then she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and over the next few months we shared the difficult experience saying good-bye to her.  About a year after her passing he casually mentioned that he had missed visiting her grave 5 days since her death and that he carried water for flowers when he went.  I asked him if he had live flowers on her grave.  He said no, her grave had silk flowers, but that he watered the flowers on the other graves as he walked to hers.  It is his habit to live graciously and to nurture children. He found, as have others, that when one makes a difficult road easier for others it is also made easier for ones self.

8-Faith That You Are There

This song was originally written to comfort its composer.  Through self-expression she now brings beauty to others, as well.  A dear friend found comfort through her garden when her mother, "Shirley," passed away.  Through self-expression she also brought beauty to others.  There are many kinds of self-expressions which heal the individual and bring beauty to others.

This song is dedicated to "Shirley" but there are actually two people named Shirley for which it is dedicated.  The first is the mother of our dear friend, the second we learned about in an unexpected way:  One day, as we finished recording "Treasuring You," I noticed a gentleman sitting alone at a fast food restaurant. My 5-year-old greeted him and I joined in, asking general questions.  When he mentioned that his wife had recently passed away his eyes said everything.  I quietly sat down and put my arm around him.  Through misty eyes he then told me a little about "Shirley."  Even strangers can find an instant bond when there is genuine concern.  Taking the time to look around more carefully can be a rich experience.

9-I Would Still Love You

When we think of loss we usually think of death.  But the composers of this song were also concerned about addressing other types of losses such as loosing the ability to think from Alzheimer's, or loosing the ability to walk, see or hear, etc. They wanted to show that love knows no bounds and is not deterred by physical ability, or even the boundaries of life. So they beautifully expressed these ideas intertwined with the story of their toddler cousin, Suzy, who passed away in a car accident. Shortly after the song was composed, a precious teenage friend, Joshua, also lost his life in a car accident.  So the song is dedicated in honor of both Suzy and Joshua.

10-Morning Star

Great Grandma Greer was a grand lady.  She was an adopted great Grandma that we met when she was in her 80's. Despite the physical limitations common with old age, she was constantly cheerful.  As her health declined, her concern for others seemed to grow.  I visited her in the nursing home a few days before she passed away.  She had difficulty seeing and hearing, was bedridden and lacked the strength to even feed herself, yet when I walked in she delightfully exclaimed, "Well, aren't I the luckiest person in the world!"  What a profound moment.  She was able to find love, beauty and opportunity in the world, despite severe problems and disabilities. Perhaps she was luckiest person in the world. 

11-A Call of My Heart

When we arrived at the studio the first day of recording we were informed that our sound engineer and friend, would not be able to record with us since his brother, Daryl, had passed away the previous night due to an extended illness.  We went to our friend's office where he was hastily gathering things to travel to the funeral. We embraced and later asked if we might dedicate this song to his brother.

This song expresses the delicate feelings of those who suffer, and those who watch someone they love suffer.  There comes a time when suffering becomes so great that being willing to say "good-bye" is the most loving thing one can do.  And yet, even then, there is the prevailing, "I'd stay if I could…"

12- Until Tested

It is impossible to face death without thinking about values and beliefs.  The severe finality of death, coupled with compelling love, forces an examination of ones deepest feelings.  While each individual will have a different perspective on faith, it is nonetheless a dominant theme at the time of death.  The songs on this CD were deliberately written non-denominationally to accommodate a wide range of belief.  They were also written symbolically so that persons could attach their own meanings and values.  In the end, each individual must find their own peace through their own search for truth. Truth can not be imposed, nor gifted.  It only comes through private contemplation.  Through personal quest, a person can come to understand a great deal more about themselves and their personal faith and then enjoy the benefits of that self-awareness.

13-Doggone Juvenile

Keyko lives at the residence of another adopted Grandma. As we have visited this Grandma each month we have been privy to a delightful  "doggie getting the dog so she wouldn't be so lonely, his being taken back to the breeder three times in exasperation, his finally getting potty trained, his learning puppy manners, his becoming tolerable and finally his becoming her best friend.   A year or so after she got Keyko I pulled into a parking spot by a car with a dog that looked like Keyko.  On closer observation I realized it was Keyko, sitting on Grandma's lap looking at the photos that she had just gotten developed. 

This song is a fun reminder that joy can be derived in unexpected ways. It is a favorite of children, and since there are children, young and old, who need a bit of laughter, we hope it is enjoyed.   It is also a reminder that having something to take care of can be a blessing, whether it be an elderly person with a pet, or a mother with young children. 

14-Freedom's Call

They say that heroes are, most often, ordinary people who do extraordinary things.  Down through the generations, "some have fought with a sword, some defend with a pen, but the fight for freedom never ends."  Each generation needs its own heroes who are willing to do whatever is necessary to ensure freedom.  This song is included on this CD for the children of fallen heroes, that they might know that what their parent died for was worth dying for.  Lives are priceless; the gift of freedom is also priceless. Its cost should never be taken for granted.

15-Alone with the Wind

The wind brushes by, and gently influences everything it touches, as Derrick did.  It seemed that he had to leave before he had time to start living, taken in his prime.  But, like the wind, he gently influenced those he touched, all those who knew him.  And now, though we sometimes feel alone without him, his gentle influence is yet felt.

16-Solace

Steven knew all too well that grief can expand or stifle a person.  His counseling benefited countless people.  And while persons sought him for his wisdom, he was also wise enough to know that they had to do their own work.  He could only point the path that they would have to walk in the private corners of their own hearts.  He knew the value of a quiet place.  Were his voice heard, he would still be gently encouraging others, especially his own children: "in the end the final work is up to you…climb the mountain…you determine if you will win."

17-Rely On Me

Kimberly Sue was the sister of a strong, young father. He said that she was one to rely on reliable sources.  Her passing caused him to reflect on what he relied on.  In times of difficulty there are many people we can choose to rely on.  Security depends upon how reliable they actually are.  As this song began to be recorded I realized how perfectly the lyrics fit the person singing it and it was a tender moment.  I had attached a different meaning to the song and was surprised by this new, and equally valid, interpretation. 

 Songs take on their own meanings to the listener.  Meanings can change with circumstances and even be multi-dimensional.  We hope that as you listen to these songs that you will attach the meanings that are significant for you, and that these songs make healing from loss easier.  We also hope that you will recognize that there are dependable sources to rely on.  We encourage you to seek these sources and draw the strength that is available.